My rating: 4/5 stars
Even if it’s been almost 13 years since the release of the “Twilight” movie, by heart still belongs to this series. I loved it with all my heart and I’ve been a proud member of the fandom, reading and dreaming besides others like me. Edward was one of my first book boyfriends and even now I believe he is irreplaceable. I remember after finishing the series I’ve found the first chapters of “Midnight Sun” and loved them, because they shown me a part of Edward which was left in the dark mostly because of Bella’s POV in the first book. I loved being part of his mind and even though not all of his feelings were OK, I wanted to be by his side. After those 12 chapters, Stephenie Meyer announced she will not be publishing the book anymore because it leaked on the Internet. You can imagine how devastated I was. 😦
Now, this book is sitting on my bookshelf and I can’t believe it. I read it with the same enthusiasm and felt again that connection to the characters. So, once a Twilight fan, always a Twilight fan. All the fuss and vibe was directed to me as a reader and even if the book is huge, the time is worth it. The POV is by far more complex than in the first book, because what Edward is feeling is dark and confusing and it’s tearing him apart. You can also consider it full circle, because their relationship and how everything started has no secrets, no thigs left hidden. Everything is out on display for us to enjoy. Or maybe it’s just Edward and I can’t see straight. 😀
“I used to know what I was doing. I used to be always sure of my course. And now everything was chaos and tumult. Yet I wouldn’t trade it. Not if the chaos meant that I could be near Bella.”
Edward is complicated and tormented and feels like everything around him is turning to ashes because he can’t be with Bella. As a vampire he did a lot of mistakes and those took a lot from him, which mold him into the person he is right how. Even with Carlisle and everybody by his side, he still has that dark side which had been manifesting for a while. Convinced that he is soulless, Edward shuts everybody and keeping Bella away is killing him slowly. Even if we see how reluctant he was in the first book to initiate something with Bella, we don’t have any idea of the extend of his misery. The monologues, the guilt, the thirst and all the suffering it’s lingering there with him and won’t let go. He follows her, pays attention to all she does and keeps an eye on her even from a distance. This is a total obsession but he can’t stop and doesn’t want to do it either. Past vs present, good vs evil and doing the right things against his nature are only a few of the subjects that are driving him crazy. Not to mention Bella’s blood, a true song to his vampire state.
“I was a vampire, and she had the sweetest blood I’d smelled in more than eighty years. I hadn’t imagined that such a scent could exist. If I’d known it did, I would have gone searching for it long ago. I would have scoured the planet for her. I could imagine the taste.…”
Bella affects everything in him and alters him mind and life habits. Out of orbit can be a good way to express everything he felt during this book and it tortured him. I really felt sorry for him, but I was aware of the outcome and knew what was in stored for him. He truly deserved to be happy and try to live an eternity with things he considered were not for him. This sense of feeling not worthy broke my heart. 😦 His greatest enemy was himself and a lot of problems were cause by his judgment, which was not all every time. Once allowing him to let go and be happy, we could read about a new Edward, one who could overcome his fears.
“Midnight Sun” was a good book, a more introspective one that the book from Bella’s POV and even though it took me a while to read it, it was a fantastic ride and I enjoyed having the gang all together again to remind me of my teens. 🙂 Team Edward all the way! 🙂